For My Remi

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about keeping a journal for when I think of things I want to make sure my children know. But I always forget to write in it and then I remembered that I created this blog not only for our families to watch us grow, but for us to be able to watch us grow. So here is what has been on my mind for the last little while. I see so many young girls who have no respect for themselves and it makes me sad. I think back to my childhood and teen years and what my parents did for me...I always knew I was smart, talented, loved and beautiful because my parents told me everyday. My parents never missed a home ball game, and attend away games as often as they could. They supported me at every dance competition and every violon performance. My parents encouraged me to do things and enjoy life. I was able to do everything I wanted and they provided for me well. With their help and my grandparents, I was able to take amazing trips. Grandpa Pete was a huge part in my trip to Spain my Junior year, and I loved it. The next year I went back east. I did Junior Miss and they were there to cheer me on all the time. It didnt matter what I did, they were there. I knew that I made mistakes and even after a choice that changed my life forever, my parents did not turn me away. My dad has taken me an a daddy daughter date every year since I was about 8, and now that I am almost 27 he still takes me. I want to make sure Remington knows she is amazing and her parents will be there whenever she needs and to support her. So this post is for her.....these are the things I want to make sure I do so Remi knows how special she is....
1- Back her up. Let her know we are there- whether she is up or down. Always. Unconditionally. She will be more confident to face the world if she knows that someone is backing her in every single decision she makes.

2. Listen more than you talk. As her parent, it is natural that she will see your words as condescending, if you do not choose them wisely. The best approach is to listen and let her talk through her issues. Life(and the heaps of emotions that accompany it) becomes more clear when it is discussed. While she is sharing her life with you, show support and understanding. But more importantly, relate to what she says. She needs to know that what she is saying, feeling and doing are normal and part of life. Coach her into solving her problems with a little (and unnoticed) nudge in the right direction.

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3. Encourage Passion. Let her explore her passions freely. She may not follow in your footsteps. Let her make her own. She may play softball, rock at the violin or maybe she will be interested in driving monster trucks around like her brothers. At the end of the day, it's her life. Who are you to steer her clear of spiders and football because long legs and tackles make you cringe? They may light a fire inside your daughter. Passion is her gateway to happiness . And if she can find happiness, confidence will follow.


4. Let her cry. Don't let her be afraid to express herself. She should not only be proud of who she is, but also in her ability to love, hate, cry and laugh. Encourage her to share her emotions freely without reserve. There is an innocence and honesty to those who are confident enough to express themselves without fear of judgement.



5. A unique beauty. Tell her she is beautiful and unique. She is, after all, uniquely beautiful. jkkhkShe should be confident inside and out. She should know the qualities that she possesses. She should know what she is able to give to the world and those around her. Tell her when she is acting kindly, when her smile is lighting up a room or when she is making you happy. She should know that she is smart and strong, not just beautiful. And for goodness sake, if you are proud of her, tell her, so she can be proud of herself.

It amazes me how some parents put such an emphasis on materialistic things. So many girls grow up thinking they have to get married and become a mom and that is it. I hope that I can teach my little Remi that it is very important to one day me a wife and mother, but that it is equally important to obtain qualities that she can support her and her future children if her husband was no longer there.